We’ve all hit a low point or experienced a time when we’ve asked ourselves, “What’s wrong with me?” Not getting a call back for an interview, flubbing on a first date, or discovering your favorite pair of jeans are too tight. Eek! These are all the things that can challenge your self-esteem and cause you to lose your confidence. But, I’m here to tell you how to find it again. So get out your flashlight and take notes. Here are 10 tips on how to find your confidence again.
1 .Recognize your strengths and build on them. It’s great to know what you’re not so good at or where you’re lacking, but knowing your strengths is a game changer. Why? Because you can focus on them and build on them.
2. Know that you are unique and your life has a purpose. Oftentimes we lose our confidence when we compare our lives to others. But most of the time we’re comparing our reality to other someone else’s highlights. Don’t do it! Comparison is the killer of joy. That’s why you’ve got to know that you are uniquely made and serve an awesome purpose here on this Earth. Only you can be you and no one else. Celebrate yourself!
3. Use positive self-talk and positive visualization. Talk yourself up. Speak positively and envision a positive outcome. Studies show you’re more likely to perform better when you visualize success. Write down a few positive affirmations and the moment you feel a negative thought coming on, repeat it to yourself out loud. It might feel strange, but it works. Say it until you believe it and after a while you WILL.
4. Set a goal and celebrate meeting it. Set small goals and reward yourself for completing them. Celebrate your accomplishment, as well as your commitment to yourself.
5. Practice gratitude. When you’re thankful for what you have there’s no room to complain about what you’re missing. Consider all of the things you’re grateful for and if you need a reminder jot down a list of 3 things on the spot.
6. Eliminate negative thoughts. It’s easy to let negative thoughts take over, and once that happens you risk spiraling out of control. Eliminate negative thoughts as soon as they arise. You can do that by replacing each negative thought with a positive one.
7. Improve your body image and body language. Most times when we look good we feel good, and vice versa. If you don’t like something about yourself do what you can to improve it. Want to feel more physically fit? Then plan to exercise. Want to feel more confident when meeting new people? Then work on your posture and eye contact. These are little things that we can do immediately feel better about ourselves.
8. Change how you view failure. Instead of viewing failure as a tragic loss, try viewing it as a valuable lesson. By simply changing your feelings about it, you can change the impact of the outcome. It’s okay to fail as long as you’re learning and trying. No harm in that.
9. Increase your competence and knowledge base. Challenge yourself by learning something new or trying something new. Expand your mind and your experiences. This will encourage growth and you might discover a new interest or new talent.
10. Practice one or more of these tips daily. Building confidence takes work and it has to be done consistently. It’s like maintaining good hygiene; you’ve got to practice it every day in order for it to be effective.
Karli Butler is an activist, optimist, and survivor showing the world there’s a beautiful life after drama, trauma, and scars one post at a time. Follow her journey at www.burnedbeauty.com. Some of her favorite sources of confidence inspiration are Simple Reminders, Beliefnet, @alex_elle on Instagram, and Brene Brown.
This post can also be found at Halfstack Magazine Online.
You know, usually these kind of lists just make me angry and despairing. But somehow, the way you’ve written it makes me feel uplifted. I’m just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and give this a try.
I, too, was angered by the lists I’d find, which is why I decided to write my own. I’m glad to know that these steps seem feasible for you. Thank you for your feedback. (Just keep swimming.) 🙂